Stephen Colbert hilariously took difficulty with science and went on slightly rant on The Late Present With Wednesday, after a brand new examine, introduced Monday on the Alzheimer’s Affiliation’s Worldwide Convention, introduced that consuming ultra-processed meals is affecting our well being and considerably lowering mind perform. “Cease it, science,” mentioned Colbert straight into the digital camera. “Simply cease learning issues. Because of this folks flip in opposition to you and begin consuming horse paste! What’s subsequent? Pet kisses trigger herpes? Publicity to Chris Evans is depleting the ozone layer? Simply allow us to have good issues!” Colbert additionally mentioned the examine was “ridiculous” as a result of he eats processed meals on a regular basis and he is completely advantageous. Nevertheless, he did not like the truth that the examine’s analysis additionally shared that “simply 100 energy of processed meals can have an effect on your bodily well being. So, that is two cookies.” Colbert joked, “Okay, if consuming two cookies hurts my mind, I’ll eat three extra cookies to harm my mind simply sufficient to neglect how dangerous it was to eat the primary two cookies.” In fact, it did not cease at simply cookies. The listing of meals we ought to be avoiding consists of every thing that brings enjoyable and pleasure to our lives – bread, crackers, fried snacks, ice cream, sweet, and soda. Nevertheless, Colbert made level, when he said, “This is some information for you, science. If you need us to dwell a very long time you must perceive one thing: We’re all simply dwelling to get to the subsequent cookie. Typically we cease consuming for weeks at a time to lose a couple of kilos so we will go on trip and achieve these kilos again consuming cookies. The tide goes out so it could come again in.” In the end, Colbert completed his humorous rant by principally saying: cannot cease will not cease. “I’ll solely cease consuming cookies after I die. And if I die as a result of I ate too many cookies, then I received,” mentioned a joking Colbert.