In every week dominated by different information, readers are forgiven in the event that they missed the bombshell that cows could be bathroom educated.
Animal behavioral scientists in New Zealand managed this feat by managing the cows’ ft. An Related Press story paperwork the best way researchers enticed cows to enter a “MooLoo,” a particular gated space the place they then peed. (The cows, not the researchers.)
Flummoxed dad and mom making an attempt to potty-train toddlers shall be heartened to notice that scientists weren’t totally profitable. Solely 11 of the 16 cows within the experiment could possibly be educated; the others, apparently, are nonetheless freely peeing in fields, stalls and wherever else cows go when nature calls. (Nature normally calls gather. She’s notoriously frugal that method.)
The AP report notes the cows have been educated solely to pee, not poop. No phrase on when or if scientists will try to regulate the animals’ bowel moooovements.
The article additionally famous that cow urine is an environmental problem. It mixes with ammonia and may pollute the water and air. If cows could possibly be reliably educated to make use of MooLoo-like contraptions, it could be simpler for farmers to regulate and get rid of the runoff.
An ancillary challenge is that this: If cows are sensible sufficient to be potty-trained, why are people nonetheless consuming them?
Earlier than I’m mobbed by 1000’s of readers – OK, dozens … OK, simply my mother – advising me in not-so-nice language to take my woke self and my west-coast views some other place, I hasten to level out that I nonetheless eat beef.
And hen.
And pork.
And turkey.
Just a few years again, my spouse and I made a decision to surrender meat for a yr after an identical epiphany over moral and environmental issues. We purchased some vegetarian cookbooks, regarded up recipes and ready for our new journey.
To present ourselves a combating likelihood, we determined to restrict the period of our keep in Meatless Vania. We might be vegetarians for one yr after which re-evaluate.
The early days have been encouraging. We made fantastic meals – roasted cauliflower and vegetarian meatballs, zucchini pasta and portobello mushroom fajitas, loaded smashed potatoes and roasted veggie sandwiches.
We have been cooking just like the love-child of Julia Little one and Bobby Flay blended with the animal-rights zeal of a PETA board member. And the meals was fairly good. I nonetheless missed meat, however not as a lot as I anticipated. A victory of types.
However then actuality set in. Work was lengthy, time was quick, and it was simpler to achieve for pre-prepared meals than to whip up nightly culinary feasts, sans meat.
Earlier than we knew it, frozen cheese pizzas grew to become the linchpin of our vegetarian weight-reduction plan. A rise in weight adopted.
Holly bailed in August, lured again to carnivorism by the sinful steak burgers provided by an area church at Carnation Days within the Park. I held out via December, however celebrated with a crock pot of pork roast which I inhaled entire at 12:01 a.m. on New 12 months’s Day.
None of which signifies that I’m not nonetheless involved in regards to the well being and environmental benefits of going meatless, each for myself and the world.
And I’m not above feeling responsible once I hear that cows have sturdy emotional intelligence, persistent reminiscences, problem-solving abilities and the flexibility to shred like a boss on the solo for “Stairway to Heaven.”
Possibly I’ve been misinformed about that final one.
At any price, I’m impressed by the cows’ potential to pee on demand, even when I’ll proceed to eat them till my guilt and sense of social duty catch as much as my palette.
I hope no one has a beef with that.
chris.schillig@yahoo.com
@cschillig on Twitter
